Last night Carol and I watched the movie: "Closer" - we probably put it on hold (6 to 8 times) as we reviewed the characters (4) - there were times when we put on closed captioning - to review certain words in spoken sentences - we both have been in relationships that deception was destructive to all involved - and yes, interesting it was, and well deserved, became a cancer to the predator. It reminded me of this story I wrote in 2003.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 31, 2006
I had been seeing this woman who is a playwright and published poet. After Jane and I had several "head examining" visits she wrote me the following and I replied below her quote –
'PS - If I were writing a screenplay about you, it would involve a woman who you fall madly in love with (a la Glenn Close in "FatalAttraction"), who you soon realize is a nutbar (a la "Play Misty For Me") but you can't get rid of. She tries to kill you over and over...and wears distinctive perfume!" - Jane
Johna Peachin - Predator
I remember her - She was 19 years younger than me. She was quite the tease and I knew her past. She married in college, to get away from her parent's home - the man she married was not satisfying her - mentally or physically. While they were married she boasted 100 backdoor relationships, including one, in a side room, during her own wedding party.
One evening, while we were out of town at a seminar, I heard a knock at my door and she came into my room. She said she "needed a good Fuck" - knew I was divorced, not really pleased in any of the dates I'd had. Since we were working together, I resisted - she insisted and took advantage "of any man's sexual weakness." I had never been with a woman so sexually advanced and consuming. Her hunger for sexual satisfaction was similar to one who had an addiction - they didn't even feel the first drink as they were working on the fourth. Distinctive perfume? Of course, the scent of a woman permeated the entire hotel room!
The next day, I related, I could not be a "backdoor man” - she would have to separate from her husband if she wanted to continue the relationship - she did...and our relationship descended into the next 10 years, the last 4, I would leave for the winter and hit the road with my horses....a very destructive relationship. I was desperately trying to jump off the "merry-go-round" before it went faster and faster - and I would get hurt. I became a victim of myself… near the end.
In its finality, I felt no slightest itch of desire for her, and knew why.It had been a white lie – of great proportion. I was a prude in my own Fashion. It’s difficult to put much value on something the she had distributed all too generously. I have the feeling there is some mysterious quota, which varies with each woman. And whether she gives or sells herself, once she reaches her own number, Once X pairs Of hungry hands have been clamped tightly upon her rounded undersides , she suffers a sea change wherein her juices alter from honey to acid – actually you can taste the change – her eyes change to glass and her heart becomes stone – she must move on – it drives her – she has no control over it. Her own orgasms become a dance of death - she lives for them at any cost.
Some people have personal conflicts that run their life. This interferes with all other things going on in their life. It consciously or subconsciously causes them to protect – an outsider’s observation of this driving force. Dishonesty, less than truth, outright lying is used to cover it up. They think it is opaque – it is transparent to observers. They get sick of lying to the point that they resent those who are the bearers of their lies. It’s a death of great proportion in a relationship.
PS. I loved “Fatal Attraction” Glen Close could have had me with a snap of her fingers – It sure showed the dimension of her acting skills and my shallowness!
I related, to you, that encouraging me is not good! I am a transparent man - push a button - get a story! - paul
Paul, where did this come from?
You know, you hear of songwriters, who come out of a shower with a new song. Actually after you related your thought – I started writing and it came out so easy (I’m sure unconsciously just under my skin) I sent this to my psychoanalyst – in Cooperstown – She wrote me back “I’m sure more will come out in the future”
My Psychiatrist related that a person who acquires a habit turned into an addiction – in The mental process – the brains chemicals change. When “the need to fulfill the addiction arises the brain releases enough Dopamine to drive the “need to need” and until it is temporarily fulfilled – Alcohol, Gambling, Food, Sex – The individual becomes focused, at any cost for the fulfillment - the reward is temporary – until another stimulus prompts the process, once again.
Jane: Isn't this fun?!
What I learned from a wife 20 years younger than me, sexually
The entire relationship was a neverending:
If she has an orgasm you'll never know whether she is faking it or it is real - no matter how good it sounds or looks
If she has a 2nd orgasm - you own her
if she is rounding the corner on her 3rd orgasm she is beginning to get pissed off as she knows you own her
if she gets to her 4 th orgasm she is going to pass out when she is finished - even if she reaches her 5th which is mind blowing to her
past # 5 she is a glutton for punishment - a sign of addiction - anyone will do - she probably has forgotten who is on top of her, under her, or behind her - the man - might be surprised by whose name she calls him, an old boyfriend, a side man - even an ex-husband...a backdoor man.
AT FRIDAY, AUGUST 31, 2006