Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Darkness Revisited

In the past 7 years I have become a student of How thoughts of suicide become a reality - a no turn away tragedy (for the living, yes and even the victim.)  It becomes a ratchet with one-way barbs that keep getting tighter in a one direction - "Darkness Visible" the title of William Styron's book of his voyage (a mere 89 pages.)  

From a friend talking about someone who was into dancing "in their group" who followed dance floors around Bakersfield, California:

"I made it to they gym,.... started a painting... and got photos organized for a DVD presentation for my friend's Memorial. It was sure fun looking at all of the things he was so good at...diving, circus acts, high-diving, skiing, ski patrol, skydiving formation, hiking, dancing, singing telegrams and stripping, teaching music, 6 different instruments, musical instrument repair (learned from his father), herpetology, sign language, snakes.
He treated each person like they were special, insisted on opening the girl's door, dressed nice always, . He always improved his dance technique, but he was still more about the fun. If you messed up, he made light of it, or humorously made an issue of it and went on. He made it his business that if there were not enough guys to lead, he made sure all the girls got their turn dancing. He just made everything fun for everybody by his own enthusiasm for the activity. He was all about women, but never inappropriate. Women loved him....but he was a guy's guy too. Then he met and married a woman that was just as outgoing as he much for that now.... His wife IS a character. Very funny - she will keep you laughing."

On the day of his choice he selected and failed at 3 ways to commit suicide and finally  - he succeeded.  RIP

desperate, destructive, determined - the intensity of his will must have had him moving at light speed - amazingly unstable, shaking - mentally distraught - such self punishment!  Is there a Hell?  Yes, but it is here on earth for some - How do you intervene when you have been eliminated mentally by the victim...that is what intervention is - it begins with reading William Styron's book - "Darkness Visible" so one can understand what is happening.   Intervention means stepping in to an unwelcome situation and being steadfast!

personally, I thank my children, their mother, and a good friend (who gave me the book)  for being there.

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